Regrets, I’ve had a few
Published 1 year, 6 months ago in My life.Regrets, I’ve had a few…so Sinatra sang. And so have I but someone once said its better to regret something you’ve done than something you’ve not done.
I agree. Luckily, the mistakes I’ve made haven’t been fatal but what of the opportunities I’ve missed.
Things unsaid, words unspoken, deeds undone. Are these more regretful than an angy word said in haste.
I’m not proud of the mistakes I’ve made, sometimes they hurt people close to me and I’ve tried to compensate, both them and me.
But the deeds undone haunt me. Lost chances to have done things differently or better.
Nostalgia is a thing of the past and I know I cannot change what has gone before. So, how do we deal with regrets ? How can we learn from our mistakes if the once in a lifetime opportunity is gone forever ? Close our minds to it and forget or try to teach others, and our children, that life is a series of choices and no-one yet has got every one right ???
13 Responses to “Regrets, I've had a few”
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Haven’t we all though? Had regrets - but I think it extremely helpful to one’s self esteem to be able to acknowledge a “mistook” and move on. I can’t handle people who sulk on me rather than tell me what I’ve done to upset them…
My husband on the other hand has no such problem….Remembering our 25th wedding anniversity I put the following notice in the paper….Dear, we’ve had our ups and downs, but I loved the ups best. Been married to JC’s brother has been a challenge. A good friend, lover, grandfather, what more could a girl want? etc
His response to me was “I am not always right! but I am never wrong”….
With humor mixed into the relationship. I think it makes for a smooth cake
Mind you, I did have to explain to the lady behind the counter that JC stood for Jesus Christ while I was trying to have the advertisement accepted for publication. None too sure she relented at last without the smile…… Good luck
Few opportunities are really completely “missed” - you might not get into a course first try, you might decide not to buy an investment property that turns out to be profitable, you might not have taken a job that could have been really fulfilling, or you might not have taken that chance to ask someone out before they got married.
But, you can get into a course the “back way” e.g. through other courses, the chance to buy another investment property will come up (especially if you look for it), you can apply for the same job with a different company, and knowing how much you regretted not asking someone out will give you greater courage in the future.
Life is big and bright and full of many, many second chances. Regrets are inevitable, but they are not always the dead ends we think they are. Often you get (or can make for yourself) another try - it may be harder, but you are more sure about it. And even if you don’t, at worst, you have learnt from your mistake for the future, therefore the world is a better place.
Regret can be larger than life sometimes.
But every opportunity, missed or snared, sends life sliding in another direction and, as Lady says, many more opportunities will present.
If I had recognised my talents earlier and chose career path - one that didn’t involve stuffing around at uni FOREVER - I would not have spent five years teaching and hating every third minute of it. I dare say I would be further up the tree than I am and having a greater influence on my profession.
But I would not have met my wife and I would not be father to my 2 children. My life would be different and I like my life, for all its crappy bits.
Mostly I find, life is larger than regret.
By the way HG, good post
Ahhhhhhhhhhh, If we admit to regrets, are we living in yesterday? Supposedly, I’m told Yesterday is gone. So therefore we only have tomorrow. And tomorrow is a fresh slate. The possiblilitys are endless.
Perhaps you should play Piaf’s most famous song “Rien, je ne regrette rien” and really listen to the words. Or maybe remember Hamlet’s soliloquy “This above all, to thine own self be true and then thou canst be false to any man.”
How does it go……accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference. Regrets are most like things in life, part of the learing experience.
Or how about accentuate the positive, and…
cheerio
theshadowmaster
Ahh nothing like a bit of self-reflection mid-week…hehe
Regrets… I don’t believe in them, because if I hadn’t made some of the mistakes I did, I wouldn’t have become the person I am today. It’s been a long tough road to get here, and there were times where not only I didn’t think I’d make it, but I didn’t WANT to make it. I did a lot of stupid, potentially dangerous stuff along the way, hurt a lot of people and have been hurt sometimes what feels like irreparably in the process, but right now, I’m living the life I used to dream about as a little girl, the life I never thought I’d have. So even though I wish some stuff hadn’t happened to me because it hurt so much to go through, I don’t regret any of it =)
Thanks for the comments guys. And for all those who pointed out its the choices we took and the mistakes we made that led us to where we are now (in my case a senior director of Macquarie Bank but we wont dwell on that).
My real question, for those of you who have regrets: is it for something you have done or for something you have left undone?
both
Probably a disappointment as much as a regret..
We can dwell on regrets but it serves no purpose. Regret or bad experiences have the potential to teach us valuable life lessons. And then we move forward. It’s healthier to focus on our positive experiences and what we are likely to achieve in future years.